In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
