good thing vaginas are great cup holders
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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