I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I'm at about main and main street
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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