Non-Jews are for practice
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Randomize
