Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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