Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Randomize