I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
