Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
