he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
