Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
