She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
