I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
