i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
