Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
