Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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