I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
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