It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize
