i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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