You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
