I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Edward fifth and chaser hands
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
