(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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