I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
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