She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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