I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
