Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
