but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize