Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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