I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I just had sex on a roof
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
