I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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