He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
