What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
