Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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