Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
