You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
