UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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