Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
