You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
