our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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