So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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