I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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