Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
