She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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