She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
