I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I looked at my own cervix.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize