I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
