I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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