North Korea, Best Korea!
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
