day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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