i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize