Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Randomize
