Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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