I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
BRING THE BAGELS
Randomize
