Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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