CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Randomize
