I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
