I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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