like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
